5 Simple Steps to deal with disappointments


Today the world is a better place when it comes to opportunities. Likelihood of dreams turning into reality is a lot higher. People are more aware. They feel empowered to do more. Thanks to the hyper-connected world, it is easier to track individuals’ progress and successes. It is said that social networking sites are becoming a menace, a source of disappointments and rejection. The user always posts their best self-whereas their actual life may be filled with troubles. The posts create a delusion in the minds and folks tend to believe that others are happier. It is easy to get disappointed and lonely. Lonely because people hesitate to show their ugly- dark side. They would continuously try to look good and be happy. And they think they can get other people jealous. In the process, they lose touch with friends. This change is cutting the support system of our society. No loved ones to go to when he/she feel terrible and dejected. Earlier, if someone was dealing with negative emotions, he would talk to parents, close friends, spouse or someone who he felt can understand. He knew that he would be heard without being judged. As society is changing, people are becoming more secretive. We have to find distinctive ways to deal with negative emotions like a disappointment.

Disappointment is an extreme emotion where people lose hope. At that time, in that moment, they fail to see a bigger picture or a future. And therefore, life seem meaningless. The time and investment they did so far, was in vain. Since everyone is racing against time, the wastage irks. We want to succeed all the time. It is hard to accept any setbacks. No one plans to fail.  But failure and disappointment are inevitable.

Few people understand that every negative energy is also an “energy”. That means it has the power to steer you back to the path of success if used carefully. There was a recent article published regarding channelizing your energy.

There are five simple steps to deal with disappointments:

Accept the failure:

This is the first step towards. Accept what just happened- whether it’s failure in an interview, sales pitch, business proposal, love proposal or exam etc.. Whatever it might be, it is surely tough to accept it but that’s truth. The plan has not worked or is not working. You may have a higher expectation from yourself but at the end of the day, we are humans, we can misjudge a situation and end up failing. Make peace with yourself. This may not be related to your capabilities or just ‘you’; it is just a situation, not in your favour. So, start with accepting the hard facts and continue to believe in your abilities.

Change paradigm:

Diverting the attention is key. Once you have accepted it, it’s time to change how are you feeling. Generally, negative emotions would make you feel weak. And to beat that, work harder. The physical exercise not only relaxes the body muscles but also brains.  So, go to GYM, go cycling, do cleaning or any other physical activity. My favourite one is hitting the GYM. When I face any setback, I would be lying in bed for at least an hour, thinking about all the incidents in detail. And after sometime, use all the energy to get up and hit the GYM. It really helps in diverting the attention.

Force yourself to think Positive:

Once your attention is diverted, thinking positive shouldn’t be too difficult. Generally, when I come back from GYM, I sit down with my diary and pen down all the plans/activity that I am supposed to do. This helps in reminding me that I may not have time to sit and grief over failed attempt but do other things to move forward. It helps in getting back on track. Sometimes day-dreaming about future success, or planning a holiday or thinking about earning lots of money will help in feeling better. Also, going for window shopping or watching a movie (alone) in a hall or just going for a walk near the pond or a beach is relaxing and diverts attention. It helps in healing the soul and getting a perspective on life through introspection. And eventually, you will bury the ill-feeling to start afresh.

Continue with the action:

And now one is ready to take next steps. And that is to get back on the plan. Now one is in a better shape of mind and body to evaluate the mistakes and find a better way to do it. And once a path is chosen, start walking. Get back to work and put the plan in action. For some people, it is still tough to forget the setbacks. They will harbour the ill-feeling in their heart. Though they try to overcome by working hard on next plan but deep down, they just can’t get away with the ill feeling. And the final step would be to let it go.

Let it go!

There is no better way to deal with any emotions than to just let it fly and go away. The more you loosen your fist, the more control you will have on life. Negative emotions just eat up the soul. So, even though it has been overpowered and won, it is important to toss it out of the system. Because if it stays, it may cause harm. For example – it is very hard for me to forgive someone. I just find it very difficult to let it go. But then I came up with the mechanism – initially, I used to ignore every aspect related to that person and that could be one way. Another way could be to pretend to be nice to the person till your pretension turns real. It is said ‘Fake it till you make it”. And that will work